In life, we all face different obstacles that can transform us in life. The hard times toughen us, the good times soften us, yet with them both we can become the beautiful person we were designed to become.
Like a butterfly, we have a journey in life. The butterfly goes through many life cycles, from caterpillar to a fully winged butterfly. In it’s final stage of growth, it is dependent upon it’s cocoon before it is able to spread it’s wings in order for it to take flight. If their cocoon is damage, or someone tries to “help” them take flight earlier than it’s time, they will die, as they will not have the opportunity to finish feeding from their food source. Once they are able to free themselves from the bondage of the cocoon, they can then begin their flight in life.
When we are born we start in the safety of our mother’s womb, yet once we arrive we continue to be dependent upon the care of our parents and other caregivers. At this beginning stage in life, we all encounter different forms of nurturing from our parents, guardians and other family members. How we are cared for, spoken to, and treated, starts the process of how we see ourselves as individuals. When we are loved, we tend to have a compassionate nature about us, yet when we are abused, we find ourselves in a confused state, accepting the behavior as love but not understanding why it hurts.
As we grow and gain more knowledge and independence, we are faced with varied situations that develop us into who we are. With siblings, playmates, classmates, extended family members, and more, we encounter physical and emotional hurts that range from general playing and sport activities as well as how we are treated with the actions of others and the words that are used when we are spoken to. The result of our experiences in life, make us who we are with our individual levels of confidence.
I relate this to the butterfly. They have very small, fragile scales that can easily fall off. Touching them causing this to happen, but it doesn’t necessarily prevent them from flying, unless too many scales are lost. At that point, the butterfly’s flight is inhibited, making it difficult for them to reach a food source.
Fortunately our skin is renewed daily, but our emotions are daily being changed by our circumstances as well as the people we surround ourselves with. Yet, as we become adults, we have choices. To remain in the past, leaning on the negative situations that tend to bring us down, we are able to lift ourselves up in order to become the beautiful person within.
How do I know this: I made a choice a long time ago to not become the person I was destined to be, based on my childhood. I decided that in order to be happy and find joy in my life, it meant that I had to face life for what it was. That meant I had to change my thoughts, how I felt about people and how they treated me. It also meant that I had to forgive myself from the bitterness that was growing deep within me.
In this process, I had to look towards God and lean on His strength to help me through the “letting go” stage of healing. I had to trust Him for what He alone was able to offer me, which was genuine peace.
Do I still struggle today? I wish I could say that I didn’t, but life is still to be lived, and in this life we are always faced with situations that can cause pain, remind us of difficult moments in our past, and bring us back a little. It is a moment when my “power” to be strong is stolen, when I sometimes need to be reminded that what other’s do, is not what characterizes me, but rather a reflection of their own insecurities.
For me, I am very sensitive about how I treat others. I care deeply for the many, outside my family, that I have developed a trusting relationship with. I care about the pain I see in other people’s eyes, the pain in their voice or behavioral responses, to the point that it can sometimes hurt my heart. I am also sensitive to when I need to confront and deal with situations that could affect a relationship. For many,who don’t really know me, who are struggling with their own insecurities, no matter how gentle the approach, they will feel attacked. My hearts intent is never meant to hurt but rather to maintain balance and peace, allowing for the relationship to be nourished in love.