Judgment Without Understanding Defines Self

"When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself."  ~ Wayne Dyer ~

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” ~ Wayne Dyer ~

It always amazes me at how freely humans are able to judge others without first taking a moment to understand.  It is so easy to look at someone, to see how they dress, what they drive, how they speak, what they do for a living and decide in that quick moment, that you know everything there is to know about them.

I am not speaking of which caution, from experience, is needed for things that replicate what we have experienced in the past.  But rather, the arrogance with which one decides to be fact without regard to fully understanding.  It doesn’t matter one’s status in life, judgment lives in each of us.

To see someone use assistance to purchase groceries then drive away in an expensive car, is one complaint I hear of often.  Yet, do you know for a fact, the person getting into the car actually owns it?  Do you know whether they were purchasing groceries for someone who is unable to shop due to a disability?  Or, possibly, that person was recently let go from their job and unable to find a new one?  For me I am thankful that we live in a culture that provides this service.  I might not need to access the service today, but who’s to say that sometime down the road I might?

The person who is in chronic pain, yet what is visibly seen is that they are functioning normally, yet you claim that they are fine?  I get that look of disgust from some baggers at the grocery store when I ask them to pack my bags light.  Just because the bags I provide are large doesn’t mean I want them filled to the brim.  I look healthy, I’m active and I do more than what I should, but the joint issues I deal with require me to use caution.

Judgments are passed daily, based on what we think, what we see, and our own past experiences.  No one is exempt from being judged, from people we encounter, co-workers, family, patients, customers, neighbors and more.  There’s always a joke to be shared about most professions, but does it really depict the truth of what is shared, about everyone who works within that profession?

In truth, there are people who take advantage of others.  They feed off of those who are compassionate and take advantage of systems set in place for those in need.  There are those who justify their actions because they feel they were not treated right, or simply don’t care what others think.

Yet, there are also honest people who struggle, looking for answers, and needing help.  There are people having a rough day and cut you off in traffic, not realizing the implications of what they did.  And we have family members, co-workers, and friends, who we’ve known for quite some time that say or do something out of the norm.  Do we accuse them of having an attitude, being depressed, or do we take the time to understand why?

Human nature is interesting.  We have brains to think and understand, but over time we become complacent to a fault.  We judge without thinking.  We accuse without knowing.   Yet, to avoid being judged, many have created an image for themselves, preventing one from being transparent about who they really are.

May your day be filled with understanding,



5 responses to “Judgment Without Understanding Defines Self

  1. It’s true. We live in a world where we judge one another and are judged ourselves. It’s sad. It’s even sadder that everyone does it. “DOn’t judge a book by it’s cover.”

  2. Very True!! Love the photo!!

  3. Thank you Jenni & David. I appreciate your feedback.
    David, the photo was fun to take…our youngest encouraging our mailman to be different 🙂

  4. Richard Dale-Mesaros

    In the book The Four Agreements (which EVERYONE should read), the most significant agreement is ‘Be impeccable with your word’, which means don’t be judgmental either about yourself or others inside your own head, or out loud to yourself, your friends or others. Powerful stuff and not easy to do….the other part to this agreement is not being a victim. FYI the other three agreements are 1) always do your best, 2) don’t take things personally and 3) don’t make assumptions. I highly recommend reading it! 🙂

  5. Richard, I’ve not read this book, looks to be something that we could all benefit from. Thank you for recommending it.
    Very true, in reference to your comment about “not easy to do…”

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