~ In Memory of the children and teachers lost 12/14/2012 in Newtown CT ~
Today in Newtown, CT lives were lost as a result of what I can only imagine as a deep seeded route of bitterness and pain. But even with that knowledge, I still cannot comprehend the depth to which one human could go so far as to take innocent lives of our young as well as the adults. Children, teachers, parents, spouses, siblings, and grandchildren lost their lives today. An unbelievable act of self-hate, in the heart of one young man, caused an unfathomable amount pain and suffering to so many.
When I first heard of the news, I immediately called my oldest daughter who is completing her student teacher assignment in CT, within a similar classroom setting, simply a few miles away. Knowing that she might not answer, I still placed the call to be sure she was okay. She and other teachers could only speak briefly and quietly in an effort to not alarm the innocence of children within their own school district who were still unaware of what happened in the neighboring town.. Teachers were trying to maintain their normal upbeat and encouraging status, but found it difficult to hold back their emotions, due to the connection they had with other the teachers and the young students they taught.
I can’t say I understand why God allows these type of hateful acts to occur in our world, and yet I realize that many of my friends and acquaintances’ don’t understand why I can love a God in the manner in which I do, who would allow this type of tragic pain and loss. There are always two sides to every negative situation in life. Unfortunately, the ones that end in death, bitter rage, or war, are a result of at least one person being filled to capacity with such hurt that it has turned to hate. This hate is the evil side of what all humans have the potential of reaching, yet it is rarely seen in the capacity of children being victims of such rage. Fortunately, the majority of people can’t even comprehend the severity of this type of hate. It just doesn’t make sense.
Evil is not part of who God is. Evil is also not the desire of God’s heart. Evil is an imperfection of who we are spiritually. I honestly believe that what happened today pains Him greatly. The tears that fell from my eyes, are only a small portion of what I believe were shed in God’s own eye’s today. What most do not understand is that God designed us with a free will to choose and become the person we decide to become. If we fill our hearts with evil thoughts, our lives will be filled with hateful behavior. Yet, when we work towards having a loving heart and becoming a person with moral wealth, we are then able to produce and provide that same love, which we all expect God to show through human life.
Could God have stopped this act of hate? Well, could God stop you from swearing, from drinking too much or driving too fast? Could God stop the overwhelmed mom from taking too many pain meds to escape her emotional weariness? If we take a closer look at who we are, we would soon discover the sinful nature we each have within us. As mentioned previously, we are given the free will to choose who we are, what we do and who we become. God’s desire is that we be a willing follower of faith.
I don’t share this to excuse the act of violence that occurred today. But I do believe that God does exist with a desire that we would all become more tolerant of one another. If we show love through our words and actions we would develop a genuine life line of caring for one another.
My immediate response to today’s tragedy was shock followed by tears of grief and sadness. I was overwhelmed with emotion and yet now I find the need to hold these families in vigilant prayer. The prayers will not stop what happened in the past, or quickly ease the pain of suffering for those left behind. We might not ever really understand the “why”. But, we can take a look within ourselves to see where we inflict pain on others through gossip, ignorance, selfishness and judgment. From there, we can make a difference by choosing to change who we are, to be better people, living together with others in our world.
Hug your husband (or wife), your children, your friends and others. Not a day goes by where we could all benefit from this form of physical expression of love.